I just got back from an impromptu jog with a friend and I am ladened with a new realization and knowledge about a certain someone. News got around to me that someone who used to be my closest friend is actually, inexplicably, a fucking sham. He is a two-faced fake who spins high tales and dishes out 'lovely' opinions about people behind their backs. What got me was that the friendship meant something, never would I have imagined him yammering about me behind my back like that.
I don't know what people get out of bitch slapping their friends, is it a sense of achievement? Like maybe, wow, I got away with talking crap about my friend behind her back, it makes me so superior!
What is there to say? You know how I would've been there. It's not cool, even though we don't exactly talk that much anymore.
I learnt it harder than I would have preferred; sometimes people aren't what their portrayed facades are like.
I wish I dug out my hidden reserves of strength and courage to confront the complexity of the situation stagnated in front of me, but then I have to sheepishly say I didn't. Past events have taught me the kind of person he is. There is really no point for confirmation of the issue.
What I did was wonder what good would come out of confrontation. I assimilated the scenarios in my head as I took my afternoon shower, then I finally settled on not giving a *. It felt pointless to overturn the soil again, perhaps there was no point reviving something dead.
Don't put your friends down behind their backs, only small people do that.
There was no repercussion, I just came away a little wiser.
It's Youth day today and we all got to stay at home away from school. The thought of school tomorrow is wrecking me mentally and I really need a break even though I just had 3 full days of break.
But ah never mind, I am trying to see things in perspective!
"My dog wants a bite of my peanut butter chocolate chip bagel. I know she cannot have this, because chocolate makes dogs very sick. My dog does not understand this. She pouts and wraps herself around my leg like a scarf and purrs and tries to convince me to give her just a tiny bit. When I do not give in, she eventually gives up and lays in the corner, under the table, drooping and sad. I hope the universe has my best interest in mind like I have my dog's. When I want something with my whole being, and the universe withholds it from me, I hope the universe thinks to herself: "Silly girl. She thinks this is what she wants, but she does not understand how it will hurt." "
Perhaps school is as it is so that I can grow up all smart and wise and step into the real world like a professional and not a taciturn novice. (uhm)
Catch up with you guys again.
Christy xx
