It's funny how life just decides to wrap it's hands around your neck and leave you no space to breathe.
It's funny how people who say they care fucks you up the next possible moment.
It's funny, how hard you work for something, and yet you are always the one lagging behind.
Today was dreary. The rain was pouring, streaking like racing cars down my window panes. Next year, this day I would probably be in my new Junior College. I would probably be studying my ass off for another final. Sometimes I can't wait to grow up and leave all of this behind. If asked for my biggest wish, I would say I'd want to grow up and become someone.
Life feels so mudane..... it's like a predestined route. Would I still be craving for perfection when my face is lined with wrinkles and my head is white fluff and when I'm lying in my casket lifeless? Would I leave this world having achieved nothing? Would I have lived a life not worth living?
......... I want to travel the world. Explore places. I don't care if anybody comes along with me on my trips, I don't believe in that. Companionship? Nope, it doesn't matter. Just recently, I decided forthnightly volunteer work would be a must in my future plans. The orphans lighting up when they realize that someone cares for them; their outstretched palms to snatch up every bit of love and time possible.... it is heartbreaking and achingly unbearable. I never realized how different it was in the outside world compared to Singapore. I came across many videos from child labour to human trafficking - never had it once occurred to me that things like that actually happened out there.
A lot of us are naive fuckers. We are all sheltered from the horrors of the world outside - oblivious to the terror other beings are facing.
We must learn to appreciate.
.....And I will be ending my post here now, somehow writing makes me feel a tad bit at ease.
Maybe it's the spilling of emotions, or just the simple motion of penning down deep-felt thoughts.
I'm not sure what I'm trying to say......
so goodnight.
x
